I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
