Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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