I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
