i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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