when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My room smells like vodka and shame
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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