so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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