It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
