She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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