ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
