I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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