whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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