I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
