i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
