My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
