Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
