there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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