i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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