This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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