Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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