Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
