bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
