Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
