every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think your dad took our porno
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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