New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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