Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
