Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i believe in u and ur pee
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
