$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
