I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
