you mean i was at the winter classic?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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