I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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