the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You made out with two different species that night
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
