paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
