can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
