Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
