y did u give ur computer a hand job?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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