you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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