i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
