Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
