you traded sex for a burrito?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
