I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Randomize
