i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize