shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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