No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Fuck appropriateness.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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