last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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