Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
