C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
