Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
