WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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