I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
