It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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