They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize