The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I look excited, but its just a facade.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
