Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
