Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
