Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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