so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
