I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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