There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
