What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
