Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
