This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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